*Dang*

Ugh. Today was a bore. It was okay actually, but still. We didn't do much of school work so it was kind of relaxing. 4th was still fun, but not as much. Our normal teacher came back. Gr. 5th pd. was awesome! Omg! Penny cracks me up. She's so going to hell though. LoL She needs Jesus. I should introduce them since I know him well. LoL Don't ask. Inside between me and somebody. I know I'm so going to hell, too. =) I'm a gay jewish lesbian anyways. Or so I've been told. And I love MCR. I'm wearing an MCR T right now. My grandma is so wrong. She got my hopes up thinking she'd sign me out of school today for the heck of it. . .did she? Why, hell no. Grr. Haha Well, I'm bored. I'll w.b when something interesting happens.

¡Hola! lol That would be "hello" in Spanish by the way. Today was so much fun! 4th pd. was awesome! Hehe I got told I was pretty today by a few people so that made me happy. It just feels good. I scrunched my hair and my friend Areil said "I love your hair like that! You should wear it like that more often." I think my guy friend likes me. I used to be like obsessed with him last year but we never had anything going for us so I got over it. Today in 2nd pd. he write, in pen!, [ugh] on a table BB & JD in love forever and always. I was like.  .umm. . okay. Whatever. . omg! It's so cold in this house! Freezing, might I add! I have my friend Jessica who I mentioned in my last entry in 4th. She was reinacting her whole spaz last night and she sits by a filing cabinet, ok? Picture this. It cracked me up. She's sitting there while Lee[a guy friend] and I were calling her SPED[special Ed] and she randomly says "I wish my name were Ed!" and then everyone's laughing and she like makes a sudden movement and hits the filing cabinet really hard. I was laughing so loud. Thank God for subs or I would've been in some deep crap. Our class is bad enough already let alone what we'd put up with if our real teacher was there and we were acting like that. Hehe Golly bum. . .I'm writing NIN hoping to get an autograph back. It's an assignment we have in keyboarding, in which, I CANNOT stand the teacher in any form in fashion. Ugh! That woman pisses me off! The freaking superintendent needs to die as well! She's screwing up the whole entire school system! And what sucks is we have her on a 4 yr contract and at any time we fire her before 4 yrs is up, she gets $1 million! I'll gladly raise it! I'll get every dang school in the county to raise money to reach $1 million dollars or more to get her sorry ass out of this place! Ugh. . .anyways sorry random angry spaz. I'm getting off of here though. Find something interesting to do. I'll write more of my life l8r if anyone is interested. . .lol xoxo Brittany

God. This gets harder every time I think it's going to get easier. I can hardly take it anymore. I try to suck it up and be stong, but I can't help it. I didn't expect to fall this hard. At all. And maybe I wasn't supposed to. I believed him though. He called me beautiful, smart, funny, sweet, and I guess that's just it. The best part of believe is the LIE. And he may not have lied, and that's just great, but it's going to take so much more to convince me on that. I felt like I was only told those things to be kept around as long as I was. I'm paranoid. I don't believe anything good about myself anymore and I can't go back to this again. I've been hurt like this before so you think I'd be used to it, but for some odd reason, it's NEVER hurt this much. Maybe I never really loved like I thought. Maybe I was weirdly obsessed. Maybe I never fell this hard. Not like now. I'm wrapped around his finger, just waiting for him ot let me go.

*If tears made me pretty, I'd be beautiful.